Facebook status updates


Top 20 Funny Facebook Status Updates

Name… is wondering…. if money doesn’t grow on trees, then why do banks have branches?

Name… is poking my face and wondering what all the fuss is about!

Name… has had amnesia for as long as he can remember.

Name… is wondering where Noah kept the woodpeckers on the ark

Name… is somewhat sceptical you’re laughing out loud as much as you claim.

Name… has CDO. It’s like OCD, except the letters are in alphabetical order…like they should be.

Name… is suffering from amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.

Name… is retired. I was tired yesterday, and I’m tired again today.

Name… has used all his sick days so is going to phone in dead.

Name… dreams of a better world…where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned

Name… used to play sports. Then he realised you can buy trophies. Now he’s good at everything.

Name… says do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

Name… is wondering if you can grow marijuana on Farmville then sell it on Mafia Wars?

Name… was bringing sexy back, but lost the receipt.

Name… thinks one good thing about Alzheimer’s is that you can hide your own Easter eggs!

Name… is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.

Name… just wants to point out that Cinderella is living proof that shoes CAN change your life!

Name… says practice safe lunch. Use a condiment!

Name… wonders why Noah didn’t kill the mosquitoes while there were only two.

Name… was wondering why the Frisbee kept getting bigger. Then it hit him.


Link – http://www.onelinerz.net/top-100-funny-one-liners/

Types of nonverbal Communication


Nonverbal Communication

 Nonverbal communication is any kind of communication not involving words. When the term is used, most people think of facial expressions and gestures, but while these are important elements of nonverbal communication, they are not the only ones. Nonverbal communication can include vocal sounds that are not words such as grunts, sighs, and whimpers. Even when actual words are being used, there are nonverbal sound elements such as voice tone, pacing of speech and so forth.

Nonverbal communication can be incorporated in a person’s dress. In our society, a person wearing a police uniform is already communicating an important message before they say a word. Another example is a man’s business suit, which is perceived by some as communicating an air of efficiency and professionalism.

While each of these cues conveys a message, so does its absence. In some settings, failing to express a nonverbal cue also communicates meaning. A policeman out of uniform is called “plainclothes” and is seen as deliberately trying to conceal his role. To some, this may make him seem smart or efficient, while others may consider him sneaky or untrustworthy. In the same way, a businessman who does not wear a suit is conveying an air of casualness which some would consider slightly less professional. In the modern world, “dressing down” implies a relaxation of professional standards that is much more than just a change of clothes.

Many cues are based on learned cultural standards, but there are some elements of nonverbal communication that are universal. Paul Eckman’s landmark research on facial expressions in the 1960′s found that the expressions for emotions such as anger, fear, sadness and surprise are the same across all cultural barriers.

The setting where communication takes place also lends a meaning to words apart from their literal definition, and constitutes nonverbal communication. For instance, the word “tradition” means one thing when it is spoken in City Hall, and quite another when it is spoken in a church. The sign of a cross takes on great cultural meaning when used in a religious context, but on a road sign it just means that an intersection is coming up.

Some nonverbal communication accompanies words and modifies their meanings. For instance, our speed of speaking and the pauses we place between our words form a nonverbal element to our speech. A slight pause before a word can imply uncertainty or be interpreted as a request for confirmation from the listener, whereas a lack of pauses can be taken as a sign of confidence or the encouragement of a fast reply from the listener. If someone asks you a question in a hurried manner, you will probably get the feeling that they want a similarly quick reply.

The use of personal space constitutes a form of nonverbal communication. If someone leans toward their listener as they speak, it implies that they are communicating something personal or secret. Depending on the social nuances of the situation, this may be taken as a sign of friendship or an unwanted invasion of space.

The use of touching as an element of communication is called haptic communication, and its meanings are very culture-dependent. In American society, a handshake, a pat on the shoulder or a “high five” have certain definite meanings understood by practically everybody. In other societies, these might be enigmatic acts or an embarrassing invasion of personal space.

The use of the eyes as an element of nonverbal communication is an area of study in itself, and is called “oculesics.” Researchers have divided eye movements into separate elements such as the number and length of eye contacts, blink rate, dilation of the pupils and so forth. Here again, the interpretation of these cues is highly dependent on the culture of the participants. A prolonged stare may establish a bond of trust, or destroy it. It may elicit a reply from the person being stared at, or it may make them become uncommunicative from embarrassment.

This is how most of our communication takes place. When we consider the amount of nonverbal communication that passes between us and compare it with the mere words we say, it is obvious that the nonverbal part is by far the largest.

Nonverbal Communication


What you say is a vital part of any communication. But what you don’t say can be even more important. Research also shows that 55% of in-person communication comes from nonverbal cues like facial expressions, body stance, and tone of voice. According to one study, only 7% of a Receiver’s comprehension of a Message is based on the Sender’s actual words; 38% is based on paralanguage (the tone, pace, and volume of speech), and 55% is based on nonverbal cues (body language).[570]

Research shows that nonverbal cues can also affect whether you get a job offer. Judges examining videotapes of actual applicants were able to assess the social skills of job candidates with the sound turned off. They watched the rate of gesturing, time spent talking, and formality of dress to determine which candidates would be the most successful socially on the job.[571] For this reason, it is important to consider how we appear in business as well as what we say. The muscles of our faces convey our emotions. We can send a silent message without saying a word. A change in facial expression can change our emotional state. Before an interview, for example, if we focus on feeling confident, our face will convey that confidence to an interviewer. Adopting a smile (even if we’re feeling stressed) can reduce the body’s stress levels.

To be effective communicators, we need to align our body language, appearance, and tone with the words we’re trying to convey. Research shows that when individuals are lying, they are more likely to blink more frequently, shift their weight, and shrug.[572]

Another element of nonverbal communication is tone. A different tone can change the perceived meaning of a message. Table 12.2, “Don’t Use That Tone with Me!” demonstrates how clearly this can be true, whether in verbal or written communication. If we simply read these words without the added emphasis, we would be left to wonder, but the emphasis shows us how the tone conveys a great deal of information. Now you can see how changing one’s tone of voice or writing can incite or defuse a misunderstanding.

Table 12.2. Don’t Use That Tone with Me!

Placement of the emphasis What it means
I did not tell John you were late. Someone else told John you were late.
I did not tell John you were late. This did not happen.
I did not tell John you were late. I may have implied it.
I did not tell John you were late. But maybe I told Sharon and José.
I did not tell John you were late. I was talking about someone else.
I did not tell John you were late. I told him you still are late.
I did not tell John you were late. I told him you were attending another meeting.

Changing your tone can dramatically change your meaning.


For an example of the importance of nonverbal communication, imagine that you’re a customer interested in opening a new bank account. At one bank, the bank officer is dressed neatly. She looks you in the eye when she speaks. Her tone is friendly. Her words are easy to understand, yet she sounds professional. “Thank you for considering Bank of the East Coast. We appreciate this opportunity and would love to explore ways that we can work together to help your business grow,” she says with a friendly smile.

At the second bank, the bank officer’s tie is stained. He looks over your head and down at his desk as he speaks. He shifts in his seat and fidgets with his hands. His words say, “Thank you for considering Bank of the West Coast. We appreciate this opportunity and would love to explore ways that we can work together to help your business grow,” but he mumbles, and his voice conveys no enthusiasm or warmth.

Which bank would you choose?

The speaker’s body language must match his or her words. If a Sender’s words and body language don’t match—if a Sender smiles while telling a sad tale, for example—the mismatch between verbal and nonverbal cues can cause a Receiver to actively dislike the Sender.

Here are a few examples of nonverbal cues that can support or detract from a Sender’s Message.

A simple rule of thumb is that simplicity, directness, and warmth convey sincerity. And sincerity is key to effective communication. A firm handshake, given with a warm, dry hand, is a great way to establish trust. A weak, clammy handshake conveys a lack of trustworthiness. Gnawing one’s lip conveys uncertainty. A direct smile conveys confidence.

In business, the style and duration of eye contact considered appropriate vary greatly across cultures. In the United States, looking someone in the eye (for about a second) is considered a sign of trustworthiness.

The human face can produce thousands of different expressions. These expressions have been decoded by experts as corresponding to hundreds of different emotional states.[573] Our faces convey basic information to the outside world. Happiness is associated with an upturned mouth and slightly closed eyes; fear with an open mouth and wide-eyed stare. Flitting (“shifty”) eyes and pursed lips convey a lack of trustworthiness. The effect of facial expressions in conversation is instantaneous. Our brains may register them as “a feeling” about someone’s character.

The position of our body relative to a chair or another person is another powerful silent messenger that conveys interest, aloofness, professionalism—or lack thereof. Head up, back straight (but not rigid) implies an upright character. In interview situations, experts advise mirroring an interviewer’s tendency to lean in and settle back in her seat. The subtle repetition of the other person’s posture conveys that we are listening and responding.

Anthropologist Edward T. Hall coined the term proxemics to denote the different kinds of distance that occur between people. These distances vary between cultures. The figure below outlines the basic proxemics of everyday life and their meaning:[575]

Figure 12.14. Interpersonal Distances

Interpersonal Distances


Standing too far away from a colleague (such as a public speaking distance of more than seven feet) or too close to a colleague (intimate distance for embracing) can thwart an effective verbal communication in business.

Key Takeaway

Types of communication include verbal, written, and nonverbal. Verbal communications have the advantage of immediate feedback, are best for conveying emotions, and can involve storytelling and crucial conversations. Written communications have the advantage of asynchronicity, of reaching many readers, and are best for conveying information. Both verbal and written communications convey nonverbal messages through tone; verbal communications are also colored by body language, eye contact, facial expression, posture, touch, and space.